So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
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