I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
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