I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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