yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
