he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
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