Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
