you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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