i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
