Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
