Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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