I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
