your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
