Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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