she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
