I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Don't EVER smell your tampon
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
