I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
