I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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