If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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