I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
