My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
