You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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