So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
