Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He passed out mid-signature
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
