DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
