I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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