that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
