well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
