i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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