It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
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Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
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Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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