Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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