i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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