You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
