I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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