A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
