But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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