I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
