Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
