i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
