One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
