please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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