when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
