I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
