You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
So vagazzling was a success
I had to cum in my sink.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
