Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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