at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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