Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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