soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
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My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
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I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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