Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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