Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
