We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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