Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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