chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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