Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
