new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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