i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
