no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
