Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
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Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
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Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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