Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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