Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
