My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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