i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
i now understand why vodka
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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