that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
